Bon Iver - Holocene
I’ve posted the official video in the past, but I’m too lazy to reblog myself. The thing is, this song haunts me. I’m not a huge Bon Iver fan, but I like this song. A few hours ago I decided that I needed to learn to play it. I see learning a new song, learning to play it and sing it, as a form of therapy, and it’s becoming more and more clear that I desperately need some therapy.
The thing is, for the past month, I’ve been spiraling down. I don’t know what triggered it, only when. So there may not even be a definable trigger. But it’s clear now that I am having a depressive episode. But at least this time I’m aware of what’s going on. Even though, it doesn’t seem to be helping too much. I have a relationship, I have friends, to an extent I have my own mind, I’m determined to keep all three. Battling myself is much more difficult than I remember, I’m constantly screwing up in some way, perhaps it’s only because I’m actually fighting, this time. Trying is the easiest way to fuck up, but it’s better than being beaten down by a series of misfiring molecules.
I’m just going to need help.
If you know me, if you love me, if you respect me, if you don’t…help me, please.